A Hurried Life

Now I get it.

When I was pregnant, many women would often look at my burgeoning belly, smile and say, "Is this your first, honey?"

"Yes," I'd say.

"Well, you better enjoy it. The time you spend with them goes by so fast," they'd say.

Yes.

Now I get it. I really do.

Baby Max continues to grow lightening fast. I swear, that onesie that fit him last week now makes him look like he's in a sausage casing. Poor Max, my boy is a Bratwurst.

Oh mama!

He also has begun to sit in his Bumbo chair and now has riveting conversations by the fire - okay not yet! But he's really a-gooing and ah-ing alot more than even a few days ago. Sometimes I even notice new sounds!

Time flies. Especially when you're having fun.

And lately, I've noticed I spend most days in over drive, trying to understand and anticipate my son's future meltdowns. I'm also still getting used to "baby" time and must really add extra cushion time before each appointment, outing, meeting etc. or else I'll be late.

As a mother, time never really does stand still. Instead, for me, it passes at almost warp speed. For instance, didn't I just put Baby Max down for his afternoon nap? Where does time go? I've also noticed that when I'm doing my workouts or on a run, not only am I concerned about my pace times, but also how much time I've spent away from Max. And I sometimes find myself wondering, "Is he alright? Is he having a meltdown and I'm not there?"

Oh man. I try not to think about this while working out and am really trying to focus on the moment. It's really hard.

Recently, I was really having a great 4-miler. However, at about 3 miles, I nearly wrecked it when I started to wonder whether The B and Baby Max were alright. A few days ago, I left Baby Max for a run and seriously, five minutes after I went out the door he had a meltdown. And so now when I go out, the thought continuously crosses my mind.

Though I care about Baby Max, I know he's in good hands and furthermore, I know there's nothing to be gained by worrying about him during a run or a workout. At these moments, I've noticed that I speed up my pace or my workout and then pay for it later.

Even though I'm blessed to have great babysitters at the gym, I'll sometimes even hurry a workout or keep looking at the clock wondering if Max and the babysitter are doing well. When I was pregnant, I tended to worry. From what I understand, the worry now only gets worse as the baby grows older.

Oy vey. I don't really want to share the joys of my baby's childhood amidst worry AND - to top it off- at warp speed, do I?