New Beginnings

Last night, as Baby Max slowly drifted to sleep, I wiped my Garmin 405 clean. I deleted my run history.

A fresh, new baby = a fresh new start.

A few days ago, on a rather balmy morning, I ran 8K to the waterfront and back. As I recall, this route was a fun, easy one. It's got a nice downhill to the lake with a relatively easy, gradual hill back. And I remember choosing this route specifically for its simplicity.

Months ago, I read that pregnancy actually complements a woman's fitness levels. I recall that the author said that pregnancy "hypertrains" a woman's body. After that 8K run a few days ago, I'm not so sure anymore. That run that felt so easy months ago, doesn't feel quite so easy now. These days my legs feel like lead and my cardio...what cardio? Where did it go? Sigh.

On many days I run inside, on a treadmill, simply because I hate that cold feeling at the beginning of any winter run. However, I'm realizing again that running on the treadmill is not quite like running outside. Running outside is much, much harder.

My decision to wipe my Garmin is, for me, like a symbolic cleanse. I need it. I now realize that it's not important to dwell in the past and torture myself by old pace times - when these days my pace is comparable to a snail's. I have to stop comparing the past with the present because things have changed.

My body continues to heal from my pregnancy and C-section, but for me, The Oh So Impatient One, it's not fast enough. I wish to run the 5:10-5:15 min/km pace I once ran during my tempo runs a few summers ago.

However, as The B is wont to say, "Desire leads to suffering."

And so I suffer. I suffer dreaming and wanting those old pace times now. I have to continually remind myself that I just had a baby. I have to keep telling myself, Rome wasn't built in a day.