Dance Party

My heart does get pumping when I head out for a run or tear up the treadmill at the gym, but sometimes motherhood calls and it prevents me from doing either. So...I've found a fun, alternative workout that gets the blood moving in my postpartum bod. I call it Dance Party.

Okay, it's not quite what you're thinking with the disco ball, light show and special effects. Instead, my version of Dance Party involves a hot 80s mix and Baby Max, who we've now nicknamed, "The Lunchie" because he's got a big appetite and really loves his "liquid lunches."

It's become a regular in our morning routine: Lunchie wakes up, has a fart storm, poos, I change his diaper, Lunchie has his breakfast, story time, tummy time and then...Dance Party! We put on a bunch of 80s tunes and dance away. It's kind of like weight training/pilates/dancing with a baby and it's super fun! And he really does like it and usually cries when I put him down. We do this for about 15-20 minutes and while it's not same intensity as running, Dance Party is quite the workout. Trust me!

A Hurried Life

Now I get it.

When I was pregnant, many women would often look at my burgeoning belly, smile and say, "Is this your first, honey?"

"Yes," I'd say.

"Well, you better enjoy it. The time you spend with them goes by so fast," they'd say.

Yes.

Now I get it. I really do.

Baby Max continues to grow lightening fast. I swear, that onesie that fit him last week now makes him look like he's in a sausage casing. Poor Max, my boy is a Bratwurst.

Oh mama!

He also has begun to sit in his Bumbo chair and now has riveting conversations by the fire - okay not yet! But he's really a-gooing and ah-ing alot more than even a few days ago. Sometimes I even notice new sounds!

Time flies. Especially when you're having fun.

And lately, I've noticed I spend most days in over drive, trying to understand and anticipate my son's future meltdowns. I'm also still getting used to "baby" time and must really add extra cushion time before each appointment, outing, meeting etc. or else I'll be late.

As a mother, time never really does stand still. Instead, for me, it passes at almost warp speed. For instance, didn't I just put Baby Max down for his afternoon nap? Where does time go? I've also noticed that when I'm doing my workouts or on a run, not only am I concerned about my pace times, but also how much time I've spent away from Max. And I sometimes find myself wondering, "Is he alright? Is he having a meltdown and I'm not there?"

Oh man. I try not to think about this while working out and am really trying to focus on the moment. It's really hard.

Recently, I was really having a great 4-miler. However, at about 3 miles, I nearly wrecked it when I started to wonder whether The B and Baby Max were alright. A few days ago, I left Baby Max for a run and seriously, five minutes after I went out the door he had a meltdown. And so now when I go out, the thought continuously crosses my mind.

Though I care about Baby Max, I know he's in good hands and furthermore, I know there's nothing to be gained by worrying about him during a run or a workout. At these moments, I've noticed that I speed up my pace or my workout and then pay for it later.

Even though I'm blessed to have great babysitters at the gym, I'll sometimes even hurry a workout or keep looking at the clock wondering if Max and the babysitter are doing well. When I was pregnant, I tended to worry. From what I understand, the worry now only gets worse as the baby grows older.

Oy vey. I don't really want to share the joys of my baby's childhood amidst worry AND - to top it off- at warp speed, do I?

I'm not alone

I'm not much of a whiner, but getting back into my pre-pregnancy shape is tough! And I'm not alone. Other Runnermamas - RunBuggy, Beginner Tri Baby and RunFasterMommy have all written that they're also facing and have faced challenges returning to the sport postpartum. I've been back running now for four weeks, inside, on a treadmill and outside.

And I'll say it again: it's tough.

Yes, there's the physical aspect - running partly on empty (I haven't slept continuously for 4.5 hours since Max was born), moonlighting as a dairy cow creating milk for Baby Max, carrying a little extra "baggage" in the form of a few lingering pounds and my legs simply "relearning" how to move fast again.

Aside from these obvious challenges, my biggest hurdle is mental. I'm continuing to compare my running performance today to what it was like yesterday- and by yesterday, I'm talking pre-pregnancy. It's hard for me not to. By nature, I've always focused on improvement and achievement. I always want to be improving and I want the metrics to prove it.

Of course, I've learned that improvement doesn't necessarily mean faster pace times right away. A wise person once told me that sometimes you have to take a few steps back to make a bigger leap forward later. I've learned that this mantra is part of the improvement process. And that this mantra will lead to achievement. I have to - once again - be patient. Ugh!

For me, application of this mantra in my running means slowing down the pace to an achievable one and then building from there. It's hard for me because I really thought (for some strange reason) that once I popped Baby Max out, that I somehow - magically - would return to my pre-pregnancy running pace.

Yes, I did wipe my Garmin of my running history a few days ago. I also changed the measurement to statute from metric. This way, it'll be harder for me to compare because in the past I tended to measure by kilometres. Now, my runs and pace times are measured in miles - like my American Runnermama friends!

On Thursday I had a tough 5-miler. Tough because the wind was blowing directly into my unsunglassed eyes and causing them to tear and because of a cramp that had developed early and pretty much stayed with me the whole time. I think my biggest issue was simply starting out too fast - with too many expectations for that particular run. I wanted to run fast. I expected myself to run fast. And this expectation did me in. I finished the run, hobbling into my home and felt dejected and disappointed.

I didn't want a repeat of Thursday so this morning, I changed the route and then told myself to just run. I wore my Garmin and tried very hard not to keep checking it, instead relying on feel: how do my legs feel; how does my breath feel; how do my lungs feel. This strategy really worked. What a difference. This 5-miler felt great. I finished strong and was even able to do a Fartlek-esque workout in the last half of the run.

My second strategy is more long-term: instead of focusing solely on the spring races I've signed up for, I'm trying to make a very concerted effort to focus on the now. In essence I'm trying to live and run in the moment. This was the first day I've applied this thinking to my running postpartum and it worked.

Baby Max continues to grow like a weed - he's now pushing 15 pound at 2 months 10 days and everyday becomes more coordinated. And bless his little heart, he's also sleeping a lot more- and by a lot- sometimes at night he'll go for 4.5 to 5 hour stretches! It's almost "through the night" as most parents call it.

Oh Baby Max, it's like you know your Mama needs some energy to run tomorrow! Thanks a million Maximilian!

Supporting My Girls

A few posts ago, I got a few questions about which bras I use for running, postpartum. Well, I apologize for not answering...things do get a bit busy around here these days with Baby Max, who is now two months old.

Well, to answer your questions, I have two bras that I've tried out:

The first one is a bra by a company called Moving Comfort. I bought it at a specialty running store called "The Running Room" in Canada. It's great for high impact activities, like running and anything "bouncy." Of the two I bought, this is my favourite. It really supports The Girls and prevents them from too much jiggling. There is a hook closure system at the back which can make it a bit of a pain to get on and off, but I don't mind that too much. And I really like the racer back style. It's in the $35-40 price point which is pretty reasonable.

The second bra I bought for running is made by Nike. It's also recommended for use when doing high impact sports. Though I like the closure system much better (it's like a conventional bra - not a racer back) I find that this bra doesn't provide the same support that my Moving Comfort bra gives. This one was a bit more expensive and cost roughly $45.

I was told by a bra specialist that nursing Runnermamas should avoid getting bras with any underwire because it can affect the flow of milk. Who knew? Since I am nursing, I also made sure that I could stuff a nursing pad in there, just in case. Both accommodate nursing pads just fine.

Happy Running Girls

New Beginnings

Last night, as Baby Max slowly drifted to sleep, I wiped my Garmin 405 clean. I deleted my run history.

A fresh, new baby = a fresh new start.

A few days ago, on a rather balmy morning, I ran 8K to the waterfront and back. As I recall, this route was a fun, easy one. It's got a nice downhill to the lake with a relatively easy, gradual hill back. And I remember choosing this route specifically for its simplicity.

Months ago, I read that pregnancy actually complements a woman's fitness levels. I recall that the author said that pregnancy "hypertrains" a woman's body. After that 8K run a few days ago, I'm not so sure anymore. That run that felt so easy months ago, doesn't feel quite so easy now. These days my legs feel like lead and my cardio...what cardio? Where did it go? Sigh.

On many days I run inside, on a treadmill, simply because I hate that cold feeling at the beginning of any winter run. However, I'm realizing again that running on the treadmill is not quite like running outside. Running outside is much, much harder.

My decision to wipe my Garmin is, for me, like a symbolic cleanse. I need it. I now realize that it's not important to dwell in the past and torture myself by old pace times - when these days my pace is comparable to a snail's. I have to stop comparing the past with the present because things have changed.

My body continues to heal from my pregnancy and C-section, but for me, The Oh So Impatient One, it's not fast enough. I wish to run the 5:10-5:15 min/km pace I once ran during my tempo runs a few summers ago.

However, as The B is wont to say, "Desire leads to suffering."

And so I suffer. I suffer dreaming and wanting those old pace times now. I have to continually remind myself that I just had a baby. I have to keep telling myself, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Blessed

Finally, after a few sleepless nights a week and a half ago, when Baby Max's schedule was ass backwards (he was asleep most of the daylight hours and awake at night), he seems to have settled on a more normal rhythm. By "normal" I mean waking for a night feeding at 3 or 4 a.m. and then going back to bed, rising at 6 or 7 a.m.

It's great. And I feel great. I'm not much of a napper and thankfully, don't feel the need to take them these days.

In fact, my energy has been so abundant - well for a postpartum mom who's breastfeeding - that I've been able to go to the gym almost everyday and even take Baby Max on his first ski trip! I didn't get as many runs in as I used to because The B and I are taking turns, but I say, some skiing is better than no skiing. And it feels fantastic to feel the speed and the wind slapping me on my face again!

I think in the world of all things postpartum, I'm blessed. Truly blessed. Many others I know have been so wiped that exercise and fitness is put on the backburner for weeks if not months or years. That's really tough.

I know the real challenge will come when I have to balance work, looking after Baby and keeping my fitness up. I'm a bit worried by this, but I always say that if you love doing something, then you will always find the time to engage in the activity. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

For now, I'll just enjoy what I have. It's 7:50 a.m. on a Sunday morning and I'm actually going to get my ass out of the house for an 8:30 a.m. run with friends while The B watches Baby Max.

How's that for a Sunday morning? Couldn't be better I say!

Dolly Parton?

With the temperatures floating around -8 C at the moment, I've turned to running indoors for the time being. Two months postpartum and I'm already looking to the spring racing season. I have signed up for a challenging 8K in April and then a fun and fast 10K in May. Ideally, I'd like to be able to do a half marathon in May, but I'm taking a "we'll see" approach.

I'd rather not rush the training and give my body time to heal and get fit again. And as I wrote on New Year's Day, I have a lot of training and running to do again before I feel as fit as I once was. And along with the running, I've added more weight and resistance training to my regimen. I'm also very keen on incorporating more core work with the Bosu trainer and stability ball. So in the next few months, I'll increase my cardio and strength at the same time. It should be fun indeed.

What I've discovered with running postpartum and nursing is that I now have to time Baby Max's feedings with my running sessions. I simply can't just jump out the door anymore. For if I don't feed, well, my "Girls" will just fill up with milk to the point where it becomes painful. So I've learned to feed Baby Max a few minutes before I run.

Since I've strapped on my shoes again, I've also discovered something else: I actually miss my smallish boobs! Before I got pregnant, my "Girls" were pretty tiny. I won't say what cup size I was for fear of embarrassment, but I will say that when I was a Western Cheerleader, my old stunt partner used to call me "The Little Boy!" (Of course he meant it somewhat affectionately, we still are friends to this day!)

Well, pregnancy and postpartum living has opened up many doors in the brassiere department. I'm now about a C-cup (wow...the cup really do runneth over) and have to strap the Girls down when I run or else it is quite painful. I'm no Dolly Parton, but I do need a lot more support than before.

A long time ago, during a clinic at The Running Room, when Wendy or one of the other girls gave us the lecture about the need to support our Girls during runs, I tended to tune out. Those days I could get away with a tiny sports bra with minimal support. Now, I have to lug the "Big Guns" of sports bras out. As Wendy, my wonderfully funny friend at The Running Room said a few weeks ago, "Sharon, there's a different bra for every stage of your life!"

So right she is!

The two bras I recently purchased have made running postpartum a joy. (I ran a few days without the support and wondered how on earth I was ever going to get back into running shape again.) The bra I wore during my pregnancy runs just won't cut it, so now I have a super supportive bra that allows me to run without much jiggle. Yay...that makes me giggle.

Socially, my newly enlarged bust has garnered a lot of attention, especially from my hubby and from my girlfriends who are in shock that I now have cleavage. It's kinda fun, really...but I'm told that once I'm done nursing, they'll shrink down in size.

Oh well, better enjoy them while I can.

Le sigh...

First Year and First Race as a Runnermama

I kicked off 2010 with my first outdoor run, which also happened to be my first race postpartum. It was a mere 5K, but having hung up my running shoes for about eight weeks - having a wee baby - the 5K distance felt more like 10K. I didn't plan on running the Running Room's Resolution Run until yesterday afternoon. I had no expectations and finished the run in roughly 28 minutes.

During the run, the winter wind whipped my face, but at least the snow held off until this afternoon. Still, by Canadian winter standards, the weather was rather mild. As I ran past the 2K mark, I smiled to myself and recalled how much I love feeling the wind on my face. I really missed it.

This morning, as I fed Baby Max, snow fell. Since the race started at noon, I still had a few hours to chicken out.

"Should I do it?" I asked Baby Max.

He continued to slurp away. So I asked him again - knowing that of course he wasn't about to answer me. However this time, he looked at me and smiled. So, I thought, Oh okay, this must be his way of telling me to go, pound some pavement and run the race.

I'm really glad I did.

It wasn't the easiest 5K, but it felt good. As I cooled down and stretched by my car, I realized that I have a ways to go to get back into the same shape I was nine months ago. One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2010 is to not have too many expectations and to try to live in the moment. I say the same thing every year. However, this year, more than year's past, I think sticking by this resolution will be very important.

Rome wasn't built in a day. And I can't expect my body to get back into shape overnight. Again, I will have to exercise patience...that, in itself, will be tough.